Monday, October 3, 2011 Post By: Grayne Wetzky

You hold the power

The most important thing to realize is that you are responsible for your own life. It is comfortable to blame other people or circumstances, but it will never lead to positive growth. The first step towards making meaningful changes is to accept the responsibility for getting it done.

The truth is that no one can change your life for you. Why would you want them to anyway? You are the one who knows what you want from your life, and you are the one who has the power to make it happen. To make anything happen though, you have to accept the responsibility for where you are at right now, and for getting to where you want to be.

Often we tie ourselves to other people and use them as excuses for not moving towards what we want. For example; you might know that you need to make changes to fix a struggling relationship. The passive approach is to think that you don't want to make the first move, the other person should change their ways before you invest anything into fixing the relationship. Thousands of relationships fail because no one has the courage to take responsibility and make the first move towards fixing it.

You can never expect other people to do anything. Any change you want to see is up to you. Your life is yours and it is naive and overly self centered to think that anyone else are responsible for how you live your life.

If there are no one else to blame, there are always circumstances that can be used to deflect your personal responsibility. You can always say that the timing wasn't right, that you had bad luck, the weather was bad or you were just too tired. These things are nothing but excuses. People who successfully make massive changes in their lives don't give themselves these easy outs.

A typical example of this kind of responsibility deflecting behavior can be seen in people who struggle to overcome an addiction. Addictions are powerful and can be physically very difficult to overcome. This makes beating an addiction very hard, but the reason why so many people can't do it is because they don't own up to their responsibility to get over it. Instead of facing the difficult journey head on and shouldering the responsibility for their success they give themselves all manners of escape clauses.

The excuses can be anything, "I had bad childhood", "I'll quit on Monday", "I'm just going to finish this pack", "I don't want to lose my friends". The same excuses can be repackaged ad infinitum and can always be used to avoid responsibility.

To cure to this mindset is to accept responsibility for your life. Accept that you always have a choice. Even inaction and the status quo is a choice you make. Instead of looking for faults in other people (you will find many), always focus on what you can do to improve your situation no matter who is to blame. Don't throw away your power looking for who to blame, instead look for what you can do to improve your life.

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